The most common questions I get from customers about computers.
“I think it’s got a virus! It won’t turn on.”
“What’s the difference between a modem and a computer?”
“How do I turn the computer off?”
When I answer the phone, I say ‘Geeksquad, how may I help you?’ and this is the most said response.
“Is this the geeksquad?”
It’s been around for a while, but this is still a fantastic example of an incredibly arrogant and dumb customer.
There’s this one project at work that I continue to receive hassle about from the powers that be. I don’t know if this can be strictly considered dumb, I guess it’s more a carefully balanced mix of an egotistical disregard of others and conceited pride. I often get told to make very specific changes to this application, which I can’t question as “I do not understand the full picture”, so for an easy life now I do them without protest.
The problem is as the project grows or the whims of the clients change a lot of these changes no longer really make sense any more. Every time this happens though I get called in or receive a phone call asking me to explain why I’ve been so short-sighted. Normally I don’t mind that so much and after a couple of glasses of Chianti I tend to forget about it.
After spending most of last weekend researching into ways the application can generate a quite specific report that the client requested, with other demands, I finally completed it mid-week. On Friday I received a phone call. Of course I no longer expect any thanks for any effort but I didn’t quite expect to be asked why I can’t even understand the most basic concepts.
It turns out that a couple of the buttons that he specifically asked to be a particular colour, to make them stand out, a couple of months back shouldn’t be that way. There needs to be greater uniformity and it shows a great lack of attention to detail on my behalf to have made them that colour.
This seems to be a recurring theme where I’m being reprimanded for others choices and mistakes. When someone is reprimanding me for their own choices and mistakes, can that be considered dumb or actually very clever?
Customer -”Yes, I would like to return these rolls. They’re too hard.”
Staff - “They’re hard rolls sir.”
Customer -”I’m afraid to eat this vanilla ice cream. It has black specks in it.”
Staff - “That would be the vanilla.”
Customer - “This juice tastes fishy.”
Staff - “It’s CLAMato juice sir.”
A study in their foolish attemps to reverse, reverse psychology…..
This is a small Pharmacy with a single til by the door for customers to purchase items quickly (when we have the staff to sit there..) and a Healthcare Pharmacy counter near the Dispensary.
It was one of those days, only 5 members in, most of which are upstairs arranging stock.
A arrogant woman stomps up to me and thrusts her basket in front of my Pharmacy advise table and declares “IS there no-one serving over there?!!”. it then flashes through my mind that for her to have made that little declaration she must have walked over there, MADE the observation, made her way over to me to fruitlessly ask…..
Now, I had no idea if she was being stupid or just plain rude, why state the OBVIOUS???
its just like when people ask “is there no staff?” in a accusative tone, or when they like to stand in the queue and bitch “ohhh theres only ONE serving” while they raise their voice hoping to send the other customers into rants domino style.
LOOK, we’ve ALL been there! but when I go into a store I look at the queues and MAKE the conscious decision to queue or not!!
Another of their favourite phrases is “no-wonder this place is going downhill.. everytime I come in here its worse” - well, if you REALLY think the service is THAT bad….why the HECK do you keep coming back to haunt ME?!!
Everyday they get ruder and ruder, I have a 1,000 tales to tell now…..
Anyone who has ever worked in retail can relate to this grievance. It’s the same stuff that they experience every day but no matter how many times it is repeated it still feels good to get it off your chest.
I was walking by the service counter on my way to break when I heard my boyfriend (who works at the counter) laugh quite hard. Curious, I walked over to see what had happened.
He had just received a phone call from a customer who wanted to know if the Mart was open down the road at this hour and if so, did they sell an item. (I don’t remember what he was asking for). When my boyfriend told him, they do in fact sell that item and were open right now, the customer let out a sigh of relief and said “Good. Because I didn’t want to go down there if they were closed and get gang raped at this hour.” And then he hung up.
Today, I was working in the express lane. The drill is, if you have ten items or less, you came come through my line paying in debit, credit, or cash.
Alright, so today it was really busy with tons of people around the holiday season. Naturally, my line was backed up because of how many people were there. I had about eight or nine people waiting in line and I was currently making change for the customer in front of me. Well, this old lady walks up to me and holds out her sandwich and soda saying, “Can you ring this up for me?” as though I had no one else in my line and was doing NOTHING until she arrives with her items.
I told her, I couldn’t take her in front of the customers because it would be very rude to them. I then told her if she still wanted me to ring them up, she would have to get to the back of the line. She huffed and walked away from me, up to the service counter where she preceded to tell a manager that I refused service to her. Fun…
Me: Tech support this is Bec, How can I help you?
Dumbass: My service is not working!
Me: Do you have a message on your screen?
Dumbass: No
Me: What can you see on the screen?
Dumbass: Nothing, It’s all black.
Me: Ok, well what lights are on the box?
Dumbass: What box?
Me: Your Pay Tv box - you know the one that submits your pictures?
Dumbass: Yes
Me: What coloured lights are on there?!!
Dumbass: Green
Me: Ok well your service is running
Dumbass: No it’s not, because I can’t see anything!
Me: What channel is your tv on?
Dumbass: It’s not on at the moment.
Me (for the love of christ!): Could you please turn your tv on..
Dumbass: Why?
Me: So we can see if your pay tv is submitting pictures to your tv
Dumbass turns tv on: Oh It’s working now, how did you fix that over the phone?
Me: Well your tv needs to be switched on for you to see the pictures!
Dumbass: Wow! you must be really smart, thanks for helping me! Really how did you know what the problem was?
Me: Lucky guess (retard!)
Me: Hangs up, sigh’s, and takes the next call - yay! it’s another one exactly the same…
Speaking to somebody today brought back strange memories of this guy I had to serve in my old job. He was the kind of guy who actually clicked his fingers to attract my attention while I was still with another customer. Despite this, I’m a friendly guy, and made the right sounds. He was after a file folder, which is simple enough, but not just anyone for after all he had his decor to worry about.
So he explained the situation. He brought some files a while back and needed some more. Problem is, his idea of a while is five years, and not really surprisingly things have moved on. We no longer carried the exact same budget 49p folders that we carried 5 years ago. Oh, they were clear alright, with the same number of pockets, but the spine and binding… Well that’s a different matter…
So he was pretty adamant and not so understanding of the whole idea of changing suppliers so I said I’ll see what the computer says we have left in the warehouse. At this point he expressed his surprise that staff nowadays didn’t know what stock the company kept. Despite the hundred of thousands of products he dismissed this as just another excuse…
So well, to get a discontinued product tracked down via the old suppliers and to place a special order at a cost to the store which would far exceed the three pounds he was going to spend would take a month. Did he really want to go ahead with this?
Yes… But he was outraged. In fact he had to spend a good five minutes explaining to me how when he ordered his new BMW with custom paintwork and interior, he had it shipped to the UK, and delivered to his house for only eighty odd grand how we as such a large company couldn’t do the same for a 49p file folder…
For fifty pence exactly how much customization can you expect to buy on a BMW?
