Dumb Customers

I work at a computer store. Now we deal with people of ranging computer knowledge. However due to the differences in computer terms that our customers use we made a list of computer terms our dumb customers use, and put definitions to them.  Here is the list so far…

1. Homedesk - desktop pc
2. Modem - could be refering to an actual modem or a desktop computer
3. Armatron pcu - it was any cpu of the AMD Athlon series.
4. PenJilam - Anything Pentium
5. Brain - Refering to one’s computer tower.
6. UBS Cable - A USB type cable.
7. Clerieon - Any Celeron series processor.
8. Windows 2007 - windows vista
9. Windows(you know the one with the grass hill) - Windows XP
10. Jigaplex / Jigabyte - Gigabyte
11. Memories - could be refering to ram or possibly Hard drive or a piece of data on the customers computer.
12. tetrabyte - terabyte
13. Re-Energizing - possibly refubishing and or reloading a computer.
14. Cut it on - Turn on the computer
15. knockout - a backplate
16. Predesesors - a procesor/ cpu
17. RAD Drivers - Commonly known as RAID to the rest of us, this can be talking about the actual controller or the RAID drivers themselves
18. Spyware - Could be refering to actual infection on customers machine, but mostly is refering to actual spyware PROTECTION
19. 2000 XP - Mostly the Windows XP operating system (usually an illegal copy)
20. Juice Charger - an ac adpter for a laptop or any other device.
21. Hard Disc - Usually another term for a PC, sometimes can even mean ‘monitor’
22. Latamore - any dell latitude laptop.
23. AMERICAN ONLINE - the worst service ever
24. Meeses - mice
25. Computer Cords - Mouse, Keyboard, and/or Monitor
26. Jiggahertz - Jigga what? I think you know.
—-A lady came in and asked if her heat sink was her spyware protector I responded no maam thats a piece of metal which you should probly use to kill yourself with.
27. We-fi - wifi
28. Solitary - The Solitaire Card game
29. Run Drive - Optical Drive
30. Files - Everything the customer wants saved off the computer (which could really mean anything)
31. KMD 62 - AMD K62 Processor
32. Can - Computer Case
33. pentium eye eye eye - pentium 3
34. Mozilla Firewall - Firefox
—- A guy came in and said he didn’t want XP Home because XP Professional had better virus protection
35. Windows XP - Microsoft Office
36. Dust Cover - PCI Metal Backplate
37. Ninavah - Biblical city Jonah saved (or NVidia if you’re Brian Williams)
38. Multiplex - Optiplex
39. Motherdrive - desktop computer
40. Printer - Monitor
41. Jigawatt - Interchangable with “Jigabyte”
42. Windows Vita - Windows Vista
43. CPI Slot - PCI Slot
44. Lanski - Linksys Product

This is made up by me and my fellow workers, do not distort!